Posts Tagged Rocking Out

Your 2010: A Personal Review

There are 10 days left in 2010.  This excites me. Why? Because I’m ready to commit to making some of my dreams come true in 2011.  But before I get into my dream chasing, I want to share an idea with you:  A Personal Year End Annual Review.

I first read about the idea of conducting a personal annual review on the Art of Nonconformity blog. Each year the author, Chris Guillebeau, literally goes into the woods for a week to evaluate his year. From personal matters to business strategies, Chris thinks about it all and asks himself what went well and what did not go well.

Now, I’m not suggesting you trek into the woods, but the idea of conducting an annual review is a good one.  As the year draws to a close, most people only think about the things they did not achieve.  We start flashing back to all of those resolutions we wrote down on January 1. Maybe you didn’t get a chance to get around to some of them, but I am sure you achieved plenty this year that you aren’t really giving yourself credit for.

Of course it is important to examine the things that did not go well this year, but the thing I like most about this exercise is that you are allowing yourself to find a balance between what you did well, and what you didn’t do well.

I’m going to conduct my assessment over the next few days and give you the break down on Thursday.  You should try it!

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Push the Limits: How eliminating certain beliefs can help you move forward

On Friday I shared an exercise that had you examining the things you love and hate about your life. Today, I want to shed light on something that may be behind the things on your hate list: your own limiting beliefs.

Day 11 of the Happy Black Woman challenge lead us to examine some limiting beliefs we may have. The top three limiting beliefs most people have according to the ReCreate Your Life website ( I know, there really is such a thing) is:

-I’m not good enough
-I’m not important
-Mistakes and failure are bad

I believe limiting beliefs can be pretty simple, or they can run really deep.  All, I think have some type of connection with the list of three beliefs above. Let’s look back at some of the things on my list to see how my limiting beliefs are letting some of these “hates” survive in my life.

One of the things I said I hate is only semi being a part of my really good friends lives because I live so far away from them (they are in Tennessee, I am in NYC). What is the limiting belief I hold behind this? I don’t have enough time.  When I feel guilty about being out of the loop, I tell myself (and sometimes them) that it is because I don’t have enough time to talk to them.  I admit, living in New York can complicate communications with people outside of the city. But let’s analyze my limiting belief further.

I often feel as if I don’t have enough time to have an in-depth conversation with my friends. So what happens? I neglect to call them period.  Is it obvious how I am limiting myself?  I am telling myself that the way in which I can communicate with my friends is not good enough.  I’m only giving myself a limiting “all or nothing” option.

I am limiting myself by saying that I don’t have enough time to talk to my friends. While it is true that a lot of things demand my attention in NYC, making time, or finding time, rather, to talk to my friends is possible.  Once I let go of the belief that “I don’t have time” it frees me to start thinking creatively about how I can keep in touch with the people who are most important to me.

If I spent more time making short calls to people when I have a spare minute (the time I spend walking to and from the subway), I wouldn’t have to try to talk to someone for an hour or two to catch up because I would be more clued in to their lives.

One thing I might do is create a list of the people I most want to keep in touch with. Then I could pick two every Sunday whom I can call while I am doing boring Sunday tasks (folding clothes, cleaning the apartment).  I can text people and have a mini convo when I am busy. I can write on more Facebook walls. I can send post cards. I can do a lot once I eliminate the belief that there is only one way to communicate with my friends, and that all other methods are not good enough.

This is just one example of how finding the limiting beliefs that are holding you back, and actively eliminating them, can help you progress towards having more “loves” than “hates” on your list.

What beliefs are you harboring that could be limiting your progress toward leading a passionate and purposeful life?

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How to Trust Your Vision, Even When Others Don’t

When I made the decision to blog about living life against the status quo, I knew I would receive some feedback that would be less than positive. In fact, I had my fair share of warnings.  Every blogger that writes about lifestyle design has said that when you try to encourage people to think outside the box, some people will freak out. Then they will speak out. And sometimes what they have to say will be pretty nasty.

Well, this weekend I received some criticism about this blog that wasn’t nasty, but it still took me by surprise. One of my friends (who is a great, delightful person) said she thought the pace of my writing is slow, and that the blog reads more like a letter than a blog.  I’m always open to feedback, so I took her comments in stride. In fact, I’m glad she said what she did.

Because now I get to write this post about the three things I think you should remember when people start questioning your vision.  *Drum roll, please*

1. When you keep a laser-like focus on your vision everything else will fall away.

So many people spend every day worrying about what others think of them.  They fear speaking their mind, or making any moves because they are terrified about what the masses will say.  But you know what?  Life is short, so why waste your time trying to mold yourself to be someone you are not?

Remembering who you are trying to reach will always keep you focused and centered. You can’t be everything to everybody. And that is the way that it should be. The Fab Life Project isn’t for everyone. It’s really not for practical people. Or even people who totally risk averse.  It’s really not for people who believe that they CAN’T. It’s for the people who question if they CAN. Big difference.

2. When people try to box you in (and they will) RUN!

Doing something unconventional is scary. Whether that be quitting your job because you never did like it anyway, or starting a new business venture, branching out into the unknown is a little terrifying. And the funny thing about this is, not only are YOU scared, your notions of being big and bold  start scaring other people!

Folks freak out when they see others wanting to try something new. I believe this is because we have been so programmed to believe something is wrong with us if we don’t want to fit into the traditional, limited definition of success.  And most of the time their reaction will be to try to find someway to put you back in the box, cage, or cube.

The comments my friend made, while well intended, were stifling.  But I received her comments with glee. Why? Because anytime someone tells you that your project doesn’t look like the typical something you expect to see, you are doing something right. Rock on!

3. Finally, and most important, remember YOU define your own rules.

The number one reason I created this blog is because I want to encourage people who don’t believe in living a mediocre existence to break through convention to get to their true self.

I reminded myself of this after I spoke to my friend because I decided to veto her opinion. Why?
Well, I think the  beauty of a blog is that it can be anything you want it to be. Blogs take on so many shapes and forms (kind of like people) that it is hard to define exactly what a blog should sound like. This applies to pretty much any project with the exception of filling out your tax forms.

Don’t let anyone trick you into thinking there are “set rules” you should follow. Just because something has always been done in a traditional way, does not make it automatically right.  The fabulous thing about your project might be the way you do everything WRONG, according to the powers that like to spit modern “wisdom”.

Next time you start a new project, or are redefining your vision, remember this: There are the kind of rules that keep us safe (look both ways before you cross the street), and then there are the rules that are just limitations set up by others. Learn to distinguish between the two. Then follow the path less taken, not the path of least resistance.

Tell me, have you ever had someone question your vision? How did you deal?

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Holla!

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