Posts Tagged Careers
Despite all of the articles that come out calling Gen Y’ers “boomerang kids” and insisting that we flock to our parent’s houses in droves, we know the truth: we really don’t want to return to the nest. In fact, we’re usually hell-bent on not doing so…even when heading home might be in our best interest.
If it looks as if you will be homeward bound, relax. Although there will be some bumpy moments, anyone can navigate their time at home if you maintain a clear focus. In 2008, I moved back in with my Dad in Tennessee. At times it was an exercise in patience. But looking back, I think I benefited a lot. It was a difficult time for me professionally (didn’t know what the heck I wanted to do), so it was great to have the support of my family and friends as I searched for purpose in my life.
If it looks like moving back in with your parents might be in your future, fear not. Keep these three things in mind:
Put an expiration date on it
Before you make the move home, decide exactly how long you will be there, if you can. Do you need a year to work out your finances? Or, perhaps a job opportunity will give you some experience that will help you do what you really want to do, somewhere else. Think about how long it will take you to achieve your goal, then hold yourself to that timeline.
Remember the reasons
There will be days when the “living at home thing” is kinda frustrating. Whether you are moving home to save money to start your own business, or you want to take some time to think about your next career move, always keep your reasons a thought away. Create a vision board which can serve as a physical reminder of the goals you will achieve.
Behave like an adult
Your parents may still you as the little kid they lovingly raised, but you can’t allow yourself to slip back into the role you used to play. Respect your parents rules, but try your best to have open and honest conversations with them during the rough moments. Remember, nothing screams “don’t take me seriously” more than slamming doors, and heavens forbid, pouting. Keep in mind, you are a different person now than you were the last time you lived at home.
Have any ideas to add to the list?
On Friday I shared an exercise that had you examining the things you love and hate about your life. Today, I want to shed light on something that may be behind the things on your hate list: your own limiting beliefs.
Day 11 of the Happy Black Woman challenge lead us to examine some limiting beliefs we may have. The top three limiting beliefs most people have according to the ReCreate Your Life website ( I know, there really is such a thing) is:
-I’m not good enough
-I’m not important
-Mistakes and failure are bad
I believe limiting beliefs can be pretty simple, or they can run really deep. All, I think have some type of connection with the list of three beliefs above. Let’s look back at some of the things on my list to see how my limiting beliefs are letting some of these “hates” survive in my life.
One of the things I said I hate is only semi being a part of my really good friends lives because I live so far away from them (they are in Tennessee, I am in NYC). What is the limiting belief I hold behind this? I don’t have enough time. When I feel guilty about being out of the loop, I tell myself (and sometimes them) that it is because I don’t have enough time to talk to them. I admit, living in New York can complicate communications with people outside of the city. But let’s analyze my limiting belief further.
I often feel as if I don’t have enough time to have an in-depth conversation with my friends. So what happens? I neglect to call them period. Is it obvious how I am limiting myself? I am telling myself that the way in which I can communicate with my friends is not good enough. I’m only giving myself a limiting “all or nothing” option.
I am limiting myself by saying that I don’t have enough time to talk to my friends. While it is true that a lot of things demand my attention in NYC, making time, or finding time, rather, to talk to my friends is possible. Once I let go of the belief that “I don’t have time” it frees me to start thinking creatively about how I can keep in touch with the people who are most important to me.
If I spent more time making short calls to people when I have a spare minute (the time I spend walking to and from the subway), I wouldn’t have to try to talk to someone for an hour or two to catch up because I would be more clued in to their lives.
One thing I might do is create a list of the people I most want to keep in touch with. Then I could pick two every Sunday whom I can call while I am doing boring Sunday tasks (folding clothes, cleaning the apartment). I can text people and have a mini convo when I am busy. I can write on more Facebook walls. I can send post cards. I can do a lot once I eliminate the belief that there is only one way to communicate with my friends, and that all other methods are not good enough.
This is just one example of how finding the limiting beliefs that are holding you back, and actively eliminating them, can help you progress towards having more “loves” than “hates” on your list.
What beliefs are you harboring that could be limiting your progress toward leading a passionate and purposeful life?
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