Posts Tagged Being Fabulous

Push the Limits: How eliminating certain beliefs can help you move forward

On Friday I shared an exercise that had you examining the things you love and hate about your life. Today, I want to shed light on something that may be behind the things on your hate list: your own limiting beliefs.

Day 11 of the Happy Black Woman challenge lead us to examine some limiting beliefs we may have. The top three limiting beliefs most people have according to the ReCreate Your Life website ( I know, there really is such a thing) is:

-I’m not good enough
-I’m not important
-Mistakes and failure are bad

I believe limiting beliefs can be pretty simple, or they can run really deep.  All, I think have some type of connection with the list of three beliefs above. Let’s look back at some of the things on my list to see how my limiting beliefs are letting some of these “hates” survive in my life.

One of the things I said I hate is only semi being a part of my really good friends lives because I live so far away from them (they are in Tennessee, I am in NYC). What is the limiting belief I hold behind this? I don’t have enough time.  When I feel guilty about being out of the loop, I tell myself (and sometimes them) that it is because I don’t have enough time to talk to them.  I admit, living in New York can complicate communications with people outside of the city. But let’s analyze my limiting belief further.

I often feel as if I don’t have enough time to have an in-depth conversation with my friends. So what happens? I neglect to call them period.  Is it obvious how I am limiting myself?  I am telling myself that the way in which I can communicate with my friends is not good enough.  I’m only giving myself a limiting “all or nothing” option.

I am limiting myself by saying that I don’t have enough time to talk to my friends. While it is true that a lot of things demand my attention in NYC, making time, or finding time, rather, to talk to my friends is possible.  Once I let go of the belief that “I don’t have time” it frees me to start thinking creatively about how I can keep in touch with the people who are most important to me.

If I spent more time making short calls to people when I have a spare minute (the time I spend walking to and from the subway), I wouldn’t have to try to talk to someone for an hour or two to catch up because I would be more clued in to their lives.

One thing I might do is create a list of the people I most want to keep in touch with. Then I could pick two every Sunday whom I can call while I am doing boring Sunday tasks (folding clothes, cleaning the apartment).  I can text people and have a mini convo when I am busy. I can write on more Facebook walls. I can send post cards. I can do a lot once I eliminate the belief that there is only one way to communicate with my friends, and that all other methods are not good enough.

This is just one example of how finding the limiting beliefs that are holding you back, and actively eliminating them, can help you progress towards having more “loves” than “hates” on your list.

What beliefs are you harboring that could be limiting your progress toward leading a passionate and purposeful life?

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Taking the “Project” on the road!

Happy Friday!

Heads up: this is a short post. Work has been coming at me from every direction for the past week, and it’s left me for little time to nurture my vision. That is a situation I plan to remedy, ASAP.

I’m about to take The FLP on the road! This weekend I’m kicking off the holiday season early by heading home to my native to Tennessee to get a little R&R and spend time with all of my loved ones. I’ve written before about how these trips home to serve to renew my spirit.

Part of the fun I am undertaking this month is the “31 Days to Reset Your Life” on the beautiful blog, happyblackwoman.com. I’m #100 on an awesome list of fabulous women who are taking on the challenge of resetting their lives in 31 days. This blog is worth checking out even if you aren’t a happy black woman!

I’m looking forward to taking some time to re-up and work on plotting my next steps. Of course during all of this, I will continue you to provide you with content that encourages you to ponder and pursue life outside the box :)

Tasty cookies and cakes aren’t the only thing that’s poppin’ this month. Tell me, what are you doing this December to move your vision forward?

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Still Thankful

Hello all!

It is 2:44 p.m. on a Friday and I am still in my PJ’s…I’m loving it! I’ve spent my day thus far feeding my soul with a wonderful work of fiction. I love to read, but it is not something I get to do nearly enough in this busy city!

Yesterday was Thanksgiving, but I want to say that I am continuing to relish in all I am thankful for, today.  Thank you so, so much to everyone who follows The FLP, and who writes to let me know you support what I am doing here. It means so much to me.

I am thankful that I have been blessed with the task of pushing others to see their potential beyond the boundaries that society bestows us. I truly believe it is my personal, and professional, mission. I believe we all have a higher purpose, and I am proud to know that this is a part of mine.

The turkey has been carved, and now we move into the busy Christmas season, but I want to continue to think about all the reasons why I am still so thankful, and will continue to be long into the new year.  I hope you will join me on that journey :-)

~Amber J.

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