Archive for category Finding your purpose

Question EVERYTHING. Or the way you avoid the complacent life.

For the past few days I have been obsessed with reading “Why We Get Fat: And What To Do About It” by Gary Taubes.  Straight-up: reading this book will shock you. Gary basically turns all the things we have learned about food, and dieting on it’s head (calories in, calories out? Nah folks. It is NOT that simple, and the food pyramid is a sham, btw.).

I’m still reading the book (and becoming more shocked as the days go on), but the thing that has impressed me the most (besides the wealth of eye-opening info) is that Gary has no problem taking on conventional wisdom. He questions the data that health-promoting organizations have reported for years.  In fact, he said he is willing to risk his reputation with this information. The man is a relentless researcher. And we all know, good research starts with a good question.

Naturally, I am applying this thinking to the issues (career, life balance, general confusion and disillusion) that Gen Y is facing today. One of the hardest things we have to get over on our quest to build the fabulous life that we want, is our aversion to questioning the things we have been told.

Most of us grew up following instructions. We were told that if we followed a strict, set of rules, life would be good for us. We never questioned it. After all, what reason did we have to do so?  When you give us a task, and spell it out for us, we will complete it with “rock-star-esq” like results. We take directions, and follow them. Giving it all we got because we want the praise that comes at the end. (Yep, we were also raised to be praise-whores, too.)

And now, we are discovering that this model of following instructions blindly, and never questioning things, is not working for us. Some of us are stuck. Others are disgruntled. We are all slightly confused.  And if we don’t figure out how to make sense of what is happening in our lives (the eternal battle between what we are told we SHOULD do versus what we really WANT to do) we will rapidly become more jaded as the years go by until we turn into THOSE people.

You know, those people who are not happy with their meager existence, but have become too complacent to do anything about it.

Nope, peeps. We DO NOT want that to happen to us. But the older we get, and the more we just kind of “accept” the things that happen in life versus proactively making things happen in our lives, the closer we get to succumbing to a life of settled average-ness.

Yuck.

So, by this point, you may be wondering what is the solution? What EXACTLY can we do not to become one of THOSE people. After all, we’re Gen Y.  We would like a list of directions, and if it has bullet points, we really wouldn’t be mad at it.

But there are no bulleted-lists involved in this answer. Because the key to avoiding average-ness, is to  QUESTION effing EVERYTHING. ( I don’t think I’ve used caps so many times in a post before, but hell, this is important.) Don’t just accept what you’ve been told. There is absolutely nothing wrong with questioning conventional wisdom. Life isn’t a+b+=c. There is a lot of room for discovery, and how will you know what turns you on (and I mean this in the most PG of ways) if you don’t go explore?

Which conventions do you think we should question?  I would love to hear YOUR ideas.

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I can deal with aging, but I can’t dig an “average” existance

 

Me on my birthday last year.

 

 

February is my month of awesomeness. For the next 27 days I am dedicating myself to doing things that propel me forward. I am inspired to do so because the 28th is my birthday, and in moments of being introspective about my birth, I have to think about what I am doing with my life.

One answer haunts me: Not enough.

Growing older doesn’t scare me.  But living a life that doesn’t feel fulfilling  scares the shit out of me. I don’t want to be one of those people who wakes up one day at 40 and goes, “Hey, what the hell happened here?”

No, no, no. I want to really LIVE my life.

The older we get, the more the demands of society seem to go from whispers in our ears to screaming. Hell, yelling, if I may. Everyone wants to know when you plan on getting married, popping out some kids, and settling into a lifestyle that looks somewhat like you have figured out what it really means to be “responsible”.  Fun becomes something that is only allowed on the weekends, and in moderate amounts.

But, life doesn’t have to be that way. Life can be full of joy, and happiness, and creativity that makes you want to jump out of your seat.  Your existence can be full of things that make you really laugh out loud, dance if no one was watching, and every other peppy thing you see written on those magnet cards.

And how do you do that, you wonder?

You have to believe in yourself.  Almost to the point of stupidity. You have to have an unshakable belief that you are freaking awesome, and that you deserve to live a life that makes you happy. There will always be ups and downs, but overall, when you wake up you deserve to do so with a smile. You deserve to be excited about the day in front of you.

You have to remind yourself of this often.  Because there will be some days when you will question what right you have for daring to ask for more than what you were told you could have.

And you will push through and continue to seek that which truly makes you happy. Who are you to hold yourself back from you ?

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Forget a 5-Year Plan.

How many times have you heard this question: “What will you be doing 5 years from now?” Yeah. If you are like me,  you probably just cringed when you read that.
We live in a constant state of panic about our future. Parents want to know about our five-year plans, future employers want to know where we see ourselves five years from now, and even friends will demand that you play the “5 Year Game” with them too.

And if you are one of many young professionals that really have no clue about what your 5 year plan is, then this question can be a major source of stress. After all, shouldn’t you have an answer?

Nope.

I think it’s okay not to know what your 5 year game plan is.  Hell, five years is a long time. And a lot can happen in five years.  If you are one of those people who need a plan, don’t skewer yourself if you find yourself straying off course.  It happens.

For the rest of us who are more free-spirited, I have a compromise: The 5 month plan. Thinking about your life in 5 month increments works for several reasons:

5 months is a short enough amount of time to make you feel like you are planning for your future without forsaking happiness in the present.
Think about it.  What can you accomplish in 5 months?  In that short amount of time, you can take a class in a subject you have always been interested in. It’s enough time to do research about a new career field. It’s enough time to plan and save for a trip for personal rejuvenation. It’s enough time to start a new hobby.

Most of us are not about to experience a life-changing event in 5 months (marriage, or childbirth),so it’s enough time to just plan your future without factoring in major life events.
Eventually a time might come when your future will include a significant other and little dependents, but for most of us, that time is not NOW. Why work yourself up over worrying about whether Ms./Mr. Right will pop up in the next 5 years? Plan your life for you right now, and factor in the things you enjoy doing, or the goals that you want to accomplish before you have to think of the needs of others.  And who knows, that art class you decide to take in the next 5 months, might be where you meet your new boo!

Your accomplishments in the next 5 months can give you some insight into what you might be interested in pursuing in the future.
Think for a second about the last time you accomplished a goal. How did it make you feel? If a huge smile just erupted across your face, I’m with you. Accomplishing a goal feels good! It is an amazing feeling to you achieved what you set out to do. This does not have to be a fleeting feeling. It can happen again, and again. Five months is enough time to make sure you can taste that rush of accomplishment again. Let’s say you do join that art class. Five months from now, you will know something about yourself: Either you are really into art, or you are not. You will know that you have the guts to try something new. If art turns out not to be your thing, try another subject you have been curious about. If you find out you love art, take the next class. Hmm… suddenly it looks like you have a 10 month plan.

In the next 5 months I will be planning my first trip West (Portland here I come!)  I just started a creative writing class, so that will keep me busy for the next 3 months. And this weekend I am moving to a cheaper apartment so I can save money for more travel.

What do your next five months look like?

Happy Friday!

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