The top three things that went incredibly RIGHT and incredibly WRONG in 2010: A personal review

My new years resolution in January of 2009 was to: “Read more, fear less, and make moves to create my life.” Some things haven’t changed. These are still my goals. As we head into the new year, I am asking myself, “What can I do to make it happen?”

I’m sure I’m not alone in this quest. But before I can decide on the areas I want to hone in on in 2011, first I need to recap 2010. Enter the annual personal review exercise. Over the past week I’ve been pondering what my life has been like this year. I’ve come to many conclusions, but the thing I want to share with you is I my list of the top three things that went incredibly, undeniably RIGHT this year; and the things that went really effin’ WRONG.

*drum roll please*

3 things that went incredibly right in 2010

#3. Launching this blog, The Fab Life Project
Creating this blog felt oh-so-right for many reasons. If you’ve been reading from the beginning, then you know that I had been wanting to start a blog for quite some time before I actually got around to it. I let a lot of things hold me back from getting my dream out of my head, and onto the net.

In July, I said, “f-it” and I went for it. Since then I’ve gained subscribers (if you aren’t subscribing, do it!) and have been told by a lot of people that they are feeling what I’m doing here. Knowing that I am motivating other people to get out there and create their fab life, makes me beyond happy. I’m joyful, folks! Joyful!  In 2011, I want to continue on my mission for creating a community for Gen Y’ers and making this THE resource for Gen Y’ers who want to build their world from scratch.

#2. Leaving the U.S.A. for the first time.
July was a busy month for me this year.  Right after I launched the blog, I launched myself to Lima, Peru for nine days. It. was. awesome! If you have never left your home country, please find a way to do it! Traveling allows you to find out so much about yourself. It’s good to get out of your comfort zone. I can’t wait to travel again, and I can’t wait to make an announcement about exactly how it will happen!

And the number one thing that went right this year was….
Making it back to Tennessee in time to see the birth of my god-daughter. (BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.)
When my best friend told me she was pregnant with her third child, I promised I would make it home to see her have the baby. Because she is such a good friend, she never doubted that I would be there. And because I can be a pretty rational person, I spent nine months wondering how the hell I would pull it off. After all, I had a lot of factors in my way: I live in New York. I work a full-time job. And it’s impossible to predict the exact moment a baby will be born.

I scheduled two weeks off from work, but when D called me a week before my scheduled departure time to tell me that she was in labor, I panicked. And I gave up hope for a few hours. But that Friday morning I woke up with a new sense of determination. I knew I had to figure out a way to be there. One call to the airline later, and it was settled, I would be on my way to Tennessee the next day. There was still some panic about whether I would still miss the birth (I was scheduled to leave that Tuesday), but I did it! My god-daughter, Madyson, was born at 2:44 that Sunday. Watching a new life emerge into the world, put my life into perspective. It was an amazing day, and my number one moment of 2010.

I’m so tempted to end this post here, on a high note, but it would be a disservice not to give you my list of things that went astray in 2010.  No drum roll needed; just that breath you take right before you get into pondering something deep.

So, what went WRONG in 2010?

#3. Telling myself, “I can’t” a lot more than saying that “I can.”
I’ve caught myself saying this way too many times this year. Sometimes it was out loud, other times, in my head, but it happened too much for me to ignore that this was a huge failing point in my 2010. I’ve written about feeling stuck, and frustrated, and  I know these feelings have shaped my thoughts about what I can, and cannot do. But not anymore. No more ruling myself out. No more focusing on my perceived notions. I CAN DO whatever I put my mind too. Maybe I will strike out, but I would rather fail than never try.

#2. Allowing my 9-to-5 to take over my life.
There are many books written about work/life balance. There are the people who write extensively about achieving it, and there are the people who believe the idea of balance is total bullshit. I believe that when you looooove your job, you find balance because your job and your life are one. You’ve found the place where passion and purpose intersect.

I am not there yet. I am working on getting there.  But in the meantime, I have got leave my job stress at my desk. My new motto is, “If I can’t do something about it right now, then why waste time thinking about it?”  Also, I will stop internalizing work-deadline pressure. I will say openly that “I am only one person.” This isn’t self-defeating, it’s the truth. In a time where many people are doing the jobs of two, you need to remind yourself that you are only ONE person. Then step away from the cube. Hell, run away from the cube.

And the number one thing that went completely WRONG in 2010 was:
Not allowing other people to help me

It is very hard for me to ask for help. And now that I live in New York (where hospitality is hard to come by) asking for help has become even harder. I hate the idea of putting myself into a position where people can reject me, but sometimes you have to do so to move forward. Part of my pledge to “fear less” in 2011, is allowing myself to ask for help when I need it. And to not take it personally if things don’t go my way. Helping myself means trying. I. have. to. try.

I would love to know what went RIGHT for you in 2010, and what went WRONG. It’s a good place to start when you are making plans for the new year!

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  1. #1 by Artieka on December 28, 2010 - 1:35 am

    Hmm two of your 3 things that went wrong should be on my list. My working two jobs is definitely not creating the life balance I need but it’s a work in progress.

    And as for the other asking for help is hard in our generation. We’ve grown up to be strong and self-sufficient. Asking for help just doesn’t set well. This isn’t something I’ve tried to conquer yet but I guess no time is better than the present.

    • #2 by amberinnyc on January 4, 2011 - 9:25 am

      I’ll be joining you on that journey of conquering the fear of asking for help. It’s a big one. I think there is a big difference between self-sufficiency, and straight-up ridiculousness. I’ve been hanging out in the later category. Gotta change that!

      Happy New Year!

  2. #3 by B. Pierre on December 28, 2010 - 11:11 am

    I totally agree with you on the what wrong list especially not allowing people me. I don’t know. It’s a combination of wanting to be self-sufficient and not being a bother to anyone else.

    As for my “going right list.” I’ve learned to stop worrying, not allowing fear to control my life and being more forward about taking steps to make my business ventures a reality.

    • #4 by amberinnyc on January 4, 2011 - 9:23 am

      It is hard to let people help. I think it’s a fear of rejection at play, but I’m learning that I just have to get past that. I like your list of what’s going right. 2011 is my year to step past the fear!

  3. #5 by Yogi on January 19, 2011 - 4:20 pm

    what went right: got a job! full-time making more money, in a great location, great boss, and I actually like it; i had a wonderful bday celebration (well 2 wonderful bday celebrations), I went back to my hometown for Thanksgiving and all my family came together something we haven’t done in a very long time!

    what went wrong: I lost a baby cousin (she was only a month old) and I had to pay the IRS

    but 2011 is a year of fun & fabulousness!! I’m ready baby!! :-D

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